“We are not even halfway there…”
I have driven through much of Kansas, highlighted by a Turnpike that had a sign “Next Exit 90 miles”. As the wheat literally was flying past me, I began to realize just how big this country is. I invested the Time to drive across the whole thing with my son (we went just north of Lebanon through Nebraska), and it is something that I think every American should do at least once.
…the people who never ask for your Time…
Some of the people closest to you will never ask for an hour. They do not call to talk, and when you ask how things are, they say fine. The quiet ones in your life are not short of things to say; they are short of long, unhurried stretches with you. A dinner is too short. A phone call is too direct.
At work it is the same people: the engineer who never speaks in the meeting and has the best idea in the building, waiting for a setting slow enough to say it. You will not get it from them in a 30-minute 1:1 with an agenda. You might get it on the drive to the customer site, 2 hours each way.
…the violin that renewed the band, twice…
Robby Steinhardt grew up with a father who taught music history at a university, and he played violin from the age of 8. He joined the band that became Kansas in 1972, and put a violin at the front of a rock band. Kerry Livgren called him the link between the band on the stage and the audience. He left in 1982, came back in 1997, and left again in 2006 when the pace of the touring wore on him. He died on July 17, 2021, at 71. His last album came out on October 25, 2021, 5 years ago today. The band said he would always be in their souls, their minds and their music.
The quiet ones talk on the long drives. Give them the miles.
…what it takes to renew a relationship…
To renew is to invest in yourself, and in the people you love, the way you invest in the business. Most of us renew in short bursts: a weekend away, a long lunch. A long drive works differently. Hours of road, music you chose together, and nothing on the calendar that can interrupt. The trap is treating it as lost Time you need to make up somewhere else.
…a song written from an airplane window…
Livgren wrote Song for America looking down at the country from an airplane, musing, in his words, over our relatively young nation. Kansas recorded it in Hollywood in December 1974, and it ran 10 minutes on the album that came out in February 1975. Don Kirshner cut it to 3 minutes for the single. It did not chart, and the album went Gold in 1980. In 2016, Louder ranked the 10-minute version among the 3 best songs the band ever recorded.
…how I renewed with Ben, out on the road…
That was 2011 with Ben my middle son. He doesn’t talk much, but on that drive out, we had some precious Time together. I have a lot of great photos of the trip with his dog Winston. Why we drove – he couldn’t fly because bull dogs can’t breathe well enough to fly. That trip had so many great memories we should probably do a whole week on the road trip.
Your “Simple… Not Easy” move: Plan 1 long drive with someone who does not talk much, pick the album together, and leave the radio on the whole way.
If you want to think through who that person is, and why the drive keeps not happening, let’s renew that conversation together. Schedule Time with me here.
Pick the album, take the long way, and play them a… Song for America
